I pledge Allegiance to the flag of the United States of America
(Unless the people in office hold a different opinion than I do – in that case, I’m going to name-call, threaten and possibly even commit an act of violence against my fellow countrymen)
And to the Republic for which it stands
(As I said, only as long as my elected representatives align with my point of view – or else we need to re-arrange the areas where me and my like-minded friends cast our votes, for fear of a true “democracy” where the will of the people is the law of the land)
One nation, under God
(Actually, “under God” wasn’t added until 1954 during the “Red Scare” and the original version of the pledge was written by a socialist minister. Also, our constitution has provisions for freedom of religion – in fact, it’s so important, it’s the first part of the first amendment)
Indivisible
(That’s a good one…I guess we forgot about that little skirmish – the Civil War – that literally tried to divide our country in two. I know, I know, the pledge was written after that, but I believe we have been plenty divided on many issues for generations)
With liberty and justice for all
(Well, maybe not “all”. Ok, Liberty and justice for most. Alright, some…liberty and justice for some. As long as you have enough money, power, influence, are the right color, come from the right background, vote for the right people, say the right things, follow the right rules and pray to the right god. The rest of you heathens? Not so much.
