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Thoroughbred Naming Conventions/Protocols

Posted on by Russ Stefanovich

When you’re sitting back in your rose pink Cadillac making bets on Kentucky Derby day, ponder this:

13 horses have won the Triple Crown: Sir Barton (1919), Gallant Fox (1930), Omaha (1935), War Admiral (1937), Whirlaway (1941), Count Fleet (1943), Assault (1946), Citation (1948), Secretariat (1973), Seattle Slew (1977), Affirmed (1978), American Pharoah (2015), and Justify (2018).

In fact, you have to go back to 1958/1959 Kentucky Derby (1/3 of the Triple Crown) in order to find horses with somewhat “regular” names winning such a prestigious race.

1958 We saw a winner of the Kentucky Derby by the name of Tim*, a nice regular everyday name.

1959 We had a horse by the name of Tomy Lee win the race. Although it is a funny spelling of Tommy, it is still another great regular day-to-day all-American name.

With horse racing being such a Great American tradition, why then don’t we see more regular everyday names on winning thoroughbreds especially at the higher more prestigious levels?

While I have yet to really research the matter, I can’t help but wonder what kind of message it sends to young breeders? “Don’t name your horse Frank or Tanya because they will never succeed against the likes of Continuation Ministry, Adoption Problem, or Provincial Telecommunication.” or worse: “You’re not good enough. Quit.” And even the one-word names that get used are abstract and well… Kind of… Dumb? Pretentious? Douchebaggy?

I am sure some of you will throw this one in my face:

“Tradition, heritiage, bla bla bla…”

Bullshit.

Look, I don’t even know where I am going with this and maybe someone reading this can shed some light on thoroughbred naming protocols for me. I’d appreciate it.

Meanwhile, I am going to dismount the pulpit and slither away…

Like a horse** with no name…

*Tim Tam: Unconfirmed at this time whether the horse was named for the delicious Australian cookie.
**Snake… That would be a snake with no name. A horse would trot or gallop… Not slither so much…

Lest Seahawks Fans Forget…

Posted on by Scipio Africanus

On this date in 2014 Richard Sherman executed “The Tip Heard ‘Round The World,” sealing the Hawks victory in the NFC Championship game and ruining the Santa Clara 49ers’ chance at another Superb Owl appearance. A storied history of which they will never fail to remind you, despite not winning it all since 1994. Hey 9ers, score a big one this century and then get back to us.

Many folks harbor ill will towards Sherm but not me. Between his performance in the LOB (although Bam Bam Kam was the real leader) and his epic dressing down of moronic talking heads such as Skip (Clueless) Bayless [“In my 24 years of experience I’m better at LIFE than you.”] he’ll always have a fond place in this Seahawks fan’s memories. And seriously, that Bayless clip is one for the ages, check it out.

And one more note to the legion of moronic “2012s” calling for Pete’s head after a tough 2021 season, take it from me as a fan since the beginning: ANY COACH THAT REPLACES HIM WILL NOT DELIVER THE LONG-TERM SUCCESS THAT HE HAS. PERIOD. These bandwaggoners never lived through the bad old days of Jack Patera, piss-poor coaching and horrible draft moves. Can you imagine Tony Dorsett in a Seahawks kit? I can, and it should’ve happened since Tampa Bay was dumb enough to take Ricky Bell (are you kidding me?) ahead of him. But Tony cried and whined about playing in Seattle and the Hawks ended up caving and trading the #2 overall pick that year to Dallas for a bag of balls. TD was the only player worth a damn in that first round. Ugh, don’t get me started.

I’ll leave you, good reader, with this – these are the good ol’ days Hawks fans, enjoy them while you can. When Pete and John retire, or the team gets sold to another Ken Behring (Blackhawks, are you MUTHERFUCKING KIDDING ME!) it’s most likely back to the basement for a good long time in the brutal NFC West. In Vino Veritas!

Sea-Hawks!

Posted on by Murl Hartwood

Save our Seahawks!
Just kidding, but since I’ve got your attention…
It was a frustrating season, to be sure. The worst record for the Hawks since Russell Wilson got here, his first significant time out due to injury (in fact, he missed 3 games and those are the only 3 games he’s missed in his NFL career!), an offense that just couldn’t get going with the new coordinator. A defense that for a 3 game stretch, were on the field for 40 minutes per game and allowed a lot of yards (but didn’t allow a lot of points and actually played much better than the box score would indicate), a special-teams unit that had missed extra points and field goals – at least one of which had a direct effect on one loss. Losing Carson early, losing Jamal Adams, other injuries that piled up (but, to be fair, all teams deal with injuries). It added up to a season of “what could have been”. Blown leads, head-scratching plays, a few bad calls and…7-10
But, let’s not lose sight of what’s in front of us. Let’s not refuse to see the forest through the trees. When that headline – Save our Seahawks – was in the news, it was back when Ken Behring was trying to pack up the team’s Kirkland headquarters – weight room and all – and move them to Los Angeles. We were staring at the very real possibility of NOT having the Seahawks in Seattle at all! Having narrowly avoided the Mariners moving to Florida, now we had a shitty owner trying to move a downtrodden team to a city who couldn’t give a rat’s ass whether they were coming or not and it just didn’t seem like it was possible…how could this happen? Who would save us?
Well, it was Paul Allen. With a quick referendum to commit to building a new stadium (details about financing and the political process will not be part of this discussion – write your own post about that, if you feel the need) and a promise to build the Seahawks back into a winner, they had a new owner! Dennis Erickson was still the coach and they were still playing in the Kingdome when I got my season tickets. Next came a guy named Mike Holmgren and playing in Husky Stadium for 2 years while the ol’ dome was imploded (which I went down to watch in person and take my own pictures) and the new stadium was built in its place. Then came the move to the NFC West and within a few years, the first Superbowl appearance for the Seahawks (we all know the refs screwed us on that one!)! By the time Holmgren moved on, we had the reputation as the loudest stadium in the league. We were winning more than losing. We had future Hall-of-fame players and were no longer suffering from the “East Coast Bias” that seemed to plague us for so long. One season with Jim Mora Jr. notwithstanding, when the next coach – Pete Carroll – came on board, we didn’t really know what to expect. What we should have expected was wins – lots of wins – back to back Superbowl appearances, one Superbowl win, multiple division championships and playoffs nearly every season with one of the best defenses to ever take the field (the Legion of Boom for those who are just tuning in), the most prolific quarterback the team has ever seen (Sorry, Zorn, Kreig, Moon and Hasselbeck) and a new reputation as a powerhouse…because that’s exactly what we got! (Just as an aside…think back to the Superbowl loss to Pittsburgh. They have the same quarterback this season as they did then and they have only had 3 different head coaches since the 1960’s!)
In fact, we got so used to winning that we forgot how to lose – or, at least what losing feels like.
So much success has turned an already fickle fan base even more fickle and it’s exactly why – many times in the past years – I’ve tried to say enjoy the moment. Don’t look past the success of today, because tomorrow’s success is not guaranteed. We don’t know what the future will hold for Bobby Wagner, Russell Wilson or even Pete Carroll. Paul Allen died a few short years ago and we don’t even know for sure what will happen to the ownership. What we can do is appreciate what we have while we have it. Yes, it’s hard to be excited after a disappointing season. You, me and 100,000 of our closest friends will all spend countless hours speculating about what they should have done different or what they should do next and we will watch the draft in April and we will get reports from training camp in August and the season will start again in September.
That’s one of the best things about sports…something we can all agree on– we fans want the team to win. We all do – no matter what side of the political spectrum you sit on. We share a common interest that has nothing to do with politics and we can stand side-by-side and cheer for “our guys”. The players will come and go, same with coaches, management and even owners. One thing that won’t change, though, is a fan’s dedication to the team!
Sure, it didn’t go our way this year – look at the Bengals…they just won their first playoff game in 31 years this weekend…31 years! How about Dallas? “America’s Team” lost in spectacular fashion last night in front of America! The Eagles? Were they even on the field against Tom Brady?
Regardless of the way the season ended, the Hawks finished up 4-2 in the last 6 weeks. They beat the 49ers twice this year and the Cardinals once! Not bad, considering 3 out of 4 NFC West teams are in the playoffs! The season for the league, in general, was pretty great – the NFL may be lacking in a lot of things, but parity is not one of them. The final game of the season was the Raiders-Chargers game. By the time it played, the strange fact was, that whichever team won would be in the playoffs. But…if the game ended in a tie, they would BOTH be in and the Steelers would be out! How did it finish? The game ended regulation time in a tie and went to overtime! All they had to do was not take any chances and run out the clock and they would both be in…but, it was not to be. The Raiders won, the Chargers went home and the Steelers got embarrassed yesterday against the Chiefs. We also saw a player – Antonio Brown – quit…QUIT! In the middle of a game! In front of everyone! No matter, to Tom Brady though. He took apart the Eagles and in his second season with Tampa Bay, looks like he might be in the championship game once again (editor’s note: Enough already with the success, Tom!!!). New England made it back into the post season with a rookie QB but couldn’t put it together to handle the Bills in sub-freezing weather, with Buffalo having 7 offensive possessions in the game and scoring all 7 times! Can we apply the sports team algebraic equation of “You beat them, but we beat you, so we would beat them” or A>B>C=A>C? If so, then since the Seahawks beat the 49ers twice and the 49ers beat Dallas at home, then the Seahawks would have beat Dallas? That’s the twisted mind of the sports fan!
No, folks this wasn’t the Hawks’ year and even last year’s 12-4 season wasn’t their year… but, I’ll take being able to watch a team – win or lose – over wishing they hadn’t left.
Now, if we can just get the Sonics back…
Thanks for reading this year and…
Go Hawks!!!

Smells Like a Bad Idea

Posted on by Russ Stefanovich

Seattle, WA. A typical Saturday night, a typical live music venue. It’s a struggle these days in the era of the plague, but they say the show must go on. And as that show went on, a band found themselves pelted with rocks and garbage nearly from the opening note to the end of their abbreviated set.

Starkville, Mississippi’s Nevermind is a tribute band with a unique “mash-up” twist founded by brothers Kyle and Ezra Wagoner in 2016. In an area where people tend to prefer country and western music, the band knew they’d have to set themselves apart. The gimmick they arrived at was to perform the songs of Aberdeen, WA’s legendary Nirvana in the neo-technical/progressive power-metal style of Nevermore, another hero hailing from Seattle, not far from Aberdeen in the same region as Nirvana. When they got the Seattle show confirmed, it was a dream come true for the brothers and the band. “I can’t wait for them to see my re-imagining of the solo for Teen Spirit in the home of grunge,” read a post from guitarist Ritchie Van Zandt before it was pulled down following the show.

Plans of wooing the Emerald City were short-lived however, as fans in the music mecca were not impressed. In fact, the dozens in attendance took up arms against the band resulting in a shortened set, their drink tickets were voided by the bar, and as violence ensued, the band is grateful to have made it out alive.

Reaction from a bewildered and pissed off audience ranged from generally negative to outright hostile:

  • “It’s just a bit close to home, dontcha think? Oh, and what the actual fuck, right??!!”
  • “When the fuck did Kurt Cobain ever play an arpeggio sweep??!!”
  • “These guys like… know these bands are from around here, right?? Why in the hell would the come here to do this??”
  • “Just wait til we send some shit-ass band to their podunk little jerkwater town!”
  • “I really don’t recall there being so many in the band or Kurt having such a dynamic vocal range and I cannot say that the addition of either component did the songs ANY good whatsoever.”
  • “Who the fuck re-imagines Nirvana??!!”

One angry fan was ejected by house security for chanting shotgun references threateningly.

The promoter could not be reached for comment and the venue wishes to remain nameless, but both assure the public that Nevermind will not be performing at their venue again. At press time we have learned that the Wagoner brothers have disbanded Nevermind due to a steady stream of death threats.

Well, No Shit!

Posted on by IDGAFCO Admin


I am learning that the Mighty Priest have walked back their announced intent to tour as a 4 piece to celebrate their 50th anniversary of forging an immediately identifiable and powerful 2-guitar sound we would come to know as metal…

Whew! I mean it’s bad enough getting jerked off by contemporary acts as well as their heavyweight predecessors and their recurring threats of final tours. How many of you out there are suing Mötley Crüe? And what loopholes did they leave themselves with their bullshit declaration on their “last tour”? I was fortunate enough to take the Who’s last “last tour” and it was stellar, so don’t get me wrong here. But now we have bands with two out of five actual band members trying to drag an incomplete lineup out to celebrate a significant anniversary in the group’s existence?? Shit is just ridiculous at this point. I mean Mick Mars should be free to fill in as MC shouldn’t even be ramping up to tour at this point but for LYING to their fans…
Oh… wait. Nevermind. I am pretty sure Mick would struggle with either Glenn or KK’s parts. Forget I said anything. Stupid idea!!

Sure with album sales being more or less a thing of the past, artists are forced to tour more exhaustively than ever before in order to maintain either a living or, if they are lucky… a lifestyle. The digital age had made life more convenient for most, but not for musicians looking to make an honest living at their craft.

Now I am not using digital download hurting their bottom line as a justification for Judas Priest’s initial position on touring as a 4-piece, but a small part of me gets it. Nobody’s getting any younger and they want to be able to enjoy security and comfort in their twilight years… and album royalties just ain’t what they used to be. So while the economy dictates “get out there and sell sell sell!”, this must be tempered with the old adage “**Give the people what they want.”

**Don’t get me started on the Kinks… speaking of… THPHFFFFT!!!!

Well, this metalhead is thrilled to learn of the might Priest coming to their senses and relenting to give the people what they want. I am quite positive at least one fellow by the name of Andy Sneap feels the same way.

Legal ‘Shrooms in WA State?

Posted on by Scipio Africanus

If the prospect of legal psilocybin interests you check out Washington State House Bill 5660. This would set the wheels in motion to legalize use by adults 21+ “under the supervision of a trained and licensed psilocybin service facilitator.” What is a licensed psilocybin service facilitator” you ask? Why an individual that facilitates the provision of psilocybin services in this state. Duh.

This bill might have a tough going, but our neighbors in Oregon passed the similar Measure 109, despite qualifying as essentially Mississippi outside of Portland and Eugene, so you never know.

Good News for a Change!

Posted on by Russ Stefanovich

Murl Hartwood is now at IDGAFCO™!

Bringing with him humor, insights, and a lifetime of heartache only a country musician could experience, Murl’s contribution should make for some quality coffee-time reading… An opportunity to pretend this phone you are holding is a full-sized newspaper and you have just flipped to an editorial column penned by someone you trust… Someone you’d grab a cold one with.
This should be good!