This goes against all our best practices, but given the time-sensitive nature of current events and the actions of a certain Russian dickwad, we have come to the consensus that it is time to leak an as-of-yet-unfinished Robert Burbank single. It is called Fuck Putin and while there remains editing and mixing to be done, we felt the time was right to share. Please feel free to share this instant classic with your loved ones and be on the look-out for the complete, edited, mixed, and mastered version available on all platforms early next week! Enjoy!
The US/Russian relationship has long been strained and tedious to navigate. Historically, American Presidents have spoken out condemning Soviet/Russian aggression from occurrence to occurrence. Stern, even harsh words and actions have been stated/taken by US leaders ever since the rise of the Soviet Union. Well, at least until now anyway.
“Now all of us deplore this vast military spending. Yet, in the face of the Soviet attitude, we realize its necessity. Whatever the cost, America will keep itself secure. But in the process we must not, by our own hand, destroy or distort the American system. This we could do by useless overspending. I know one sure way to overspend. That is by overindulging sentimental attachments to outmoded military machines and concepts.”
Eisenhower
We have no wish to war with the Soviet Union–for we are a peaceful people who desire to live in peace with all other peoples. But it is difficult to settle or even discuss these problems in an atmosphere of intimidation.
JFK
Mr. Gorbachev, tear down this wall.
Reagan
“Putin is now saying, ‘It’s independent,’ a large section of Ukraine. I said, ‘How smart is that?’ And he’s gonna go in and be a peacekeeper… We could use that on our southern border.”
Trump
That’s right. Embattled criminal defendant and disgraced former President Donald J. Trump has taken the unprecedented action of praising Putin’s invasion of Ukraine, even calling it “genius”. Furthermore, he has expressed interest in performing such internationally illegal activities himself should he successfully circumnavigate numerous suits and prosecutions to somehow get another sniff of power.
Even more disturbing is the trend of Trump sycophants following suit. Whether FOX “News” personalities or actual elected officials, there is praise coming from the right for Putin’s reprehensible actions.
How did we get here? How did the “hawkish” party of Reagan go from a stark demand that Gorbachev tear down the wall to a completely flummoxing rant praising, admiring, and encouraging Putin’s behavior?
Why did Jared try to establish a back channel for unsecure communications between Trump and Putin??
What kind of dystopian nightmare might we be living through had Trump’s insurrection/failed coup on January 6th succeeded??
We here at IDGAFCO are non-partisan, but very observant and quite concerned. Additionally, we find it a little odd that some on the right are trying to have it both ways. Well, which is it? Is Putin a genius, or is Biden weak? There are assertions that this invasion is “due to Biden’s weakness” when his predecessor in the position spent his entire solitary term sucking up to, encouraging, and man-crushing on Putin. It is well beyond laughable that things would somehow be harder on Russia had DJT somehow remained in office.
Let’s be perfectly honest here. If January 6th’s failed coup had succeeded, we’d likely have boots on the ground in Ukraine in support of Putin and his hostile aggression. Let there be no doubt about it.
Please do not allow yourself to be gas-lit by far-right media, failed former Presidents/current criminal and civil defendants, or their grifter families. Monitoring social media, a trend of rare silence from once hard-right proponents now questioning their own allegiances and desperately trying to reconcile the words of Reagan with the words/actions of Trump. It appears many are either embarrassed or disgusted enough to rethink their positions. Still more will likely dig in, motivated by whatever it is that motivates them.
We here at IDGAFCO believe it is appropriate to breathe a collective national sigh of relief that the coup failed as did the person motivating it. This is a good time to have an adult in office.
For those of you still in denial, the rest of us are enjoying your current silence as you are now unable to claim to be hawkish or to have appropriately condemned the actions of a madman dictator and his hostile regime. Anyone remaining in support of DJT at this point is basically complicit or incapable of better decision-making (Being generous on latter).
I’d like to leverage this editorial posting to express what I believe to be an idea whose time has come: UNMASKING! I say we go for it right here, right now
We could all see one another smile again.
It would feel like a return to normal.
It would silence anti-maskers who love to play the victim with their histrionics at the very idea of taking appropriate precautions or acting selflessly.
Vaccinated/boosted, while still eligible for infection,. are not even likely to require hospitalization even in those cases. Others, well… Have it as you wish and best of luck to you.
It would help to achieve herd immunity by culling the herd.
I mean sure our hospitals will initially be overrun and people who need critical emergency care may have to go without or lose precious, life-saving time shuttling from on unavailable facility to another, but FREEDUMB!!! Since it seems those most willing to abandon precautions are also those least likely to be practicing them in the first place (ie. masking, vaccinating, social distancing…), why not let the culling occur?
Quality Unprecedented Elite Electronic Foundation is coming to terms with the harsh reality that their “Sheer Art Attack” NFT is an abject failure. Apparently the NFT’s advertising and packaging was confusing/misleading, causing purchasers to believe the offering would include Queen music and great pieces of art.
Disappointed customer feedback on the NFT, which includes the music of Queen performed in the style of duo Simon and Garfunkel as well as a collage of historic Garfunkel film and photos is likely best summed up below.
Per disappointed purchaser who chose to remain nameless: “I guess I was just confused. I mean I get the Queen album reference and the twist on the title… I guess I was just expecting more art and less Garfunkel.”
Q.U.E.E.F. management is scrambling to perform damage control presently.
19 year-old Brandon Kyle still does not understand why he is in police custody. Brandon and several of his friends attended a live action role playing event in a local park yesterday. It is unclear at this time how they acquired it, but the boys ingested several doses of LSD each on their way to the event. Hundreds were in attendance dressed in full regalia to play the popular Demons and Wizards role playing game. Weapons are commonplace here, but non-lethal/harmful… Think pool-noodle wrapped in duct tape or foam swords and lances…
At some point Brandon got separated from his friends, broke the boundaries of the event, weaponized part of a broken park bench, and savagely attacked several non-participants. The teenage assailant believes he defeated 3 Orks and slayed a dragon when in reality the attack left two joggers and a dog-walker hospitalized and a Great Dane in need of veterinary care with superficial stab wounds.
Fortunately, nobody was killed in the attack when it occurred. Kyle’s arraignment is scheduled for Monday.
Louie Anderson was a very funny man. His humor is quoted frequently in my family… Especially “Well, alright then” and “Aunt Judy… You remember Aunt Judy… She got you the boots.”
He will be missed… especially in an age where we desperately need humor.
